Freakazoid XY
by Personel Change
Summary: Sometimes you just want to be someone else, sometimes you just want to be yourself, but we rarely get exactly what we want. Sometimes what we are is more than skin deep.
1. Chapter 1

Dexter hasn't been Dexter much lately. He's been skipping school, coming home at all hours of the night, and neglecting his chores around the house. Not that he's been home to do them. While they didn't mind him staying out late, because they assumed he had finally gotten a life, they did mind the school calling to let them know about his lack of attendance. Mostly because that meant they were in trouble too. Presently, the Douglas's waited for the fourth night in a row for their youngest son to return home.

"Where in the world could he be?"Mrs. Douglas sighed leaning tiredly against the wall in the darkened room.

Sitting on Dexter's bed Mr. Douglas yawned then said,"The boy better have a good reason for keeping us up for four nights in a row."

They both waited quietly, listening to the hypnotic hum coming from Dexter's computer tower. glanced around the room that she had spent her time neatly tidying on the first night of their parental steak out. Her eyes settled on an old pile of scientific magazines that were illuminated by a sliver of light beaming in from the hall. Looking at them brought back an old memory of when Dexter was ten years old. She remembered how excited he was when he got his first issue in the mail. She had thought him cute then. Mrs. Douglas smiled sadly. A sudden inclination of maternal instinct hit her and she finally wondered, "Do you think we should call the police, dear?"

"Huh?"Mr. Duncan flinched and stared at his wife. He could only manage an empty gaze after being startled out of his tired daze. He drew a deep breath and pinched his chin with his index finger and thumb, looking thoughtful. "Well,"he murmured,"I suppose he has been gone an awful long while."

"I honestly can't remeber the last time I saw Dexter. I do hope he isn't in any trouble."Mrs. Duncan said in an oddly subdued voice.

Just then there was a jostling at the window. They both froze as the window was worked open behind some cheap eggshell aluminium blinds. Before slipping in they could hear Dexter forcfully, but quietly curse,"Freak-in!" before he quieltly slinked in from behind the closed blinds. He sighed, handling the rackety slats very carefully to minimize any sounds then halfway shut the window before Mr. Duncan loudly coughed once to get Dexter's attention. Dexter and his mother almost jumped out of their skin at the loud sound.

Dexter spun around, his eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

"We'd like to have a word with you son." Mr. Duncan said and stood up.

Dexter looked dumbfounded. He just stood frozen, calculating what he should say. Then his body language went slack and relaxed. He sighed as he shut the window completely. "Okay. What about?"he asked.

"We got word from your school that you haven't been showing up for classes at all since October, Dexter."Mrs. Duncan said hugging her arms.

"Care to explain?"Mr. Duncan huffed and crossed his arms.

Dexter brushed his hair back with one hand and sighed again. "No, not really."he said wearily.

Mrs. Duncan blanched,"Dexter, you're failing all your classes and if you don't start attending class again they are going to expell you!"

Dexter sat on his computer desk. He lifted his glasses up off his nose and pinched his bridge between his eyes. "Can't we talk about this...in the morning?"Dexter groaned.

"No. You have school in the morning." Mr. Duncan said gruffly. Mrs. Duncan just frowned at Dexter. "It's really great that you finally found some friends that enjoy spending time with you, but it is very important that you finish school. We would also like for you to spend some more time at home now, sweetie." Mrs. Duncan said sweetly.

Dexter's countenance darkened. If looks could wound, then the look he gave his mother was the equivalent of grinding out a lit cigarette on someones wrist. "Why? What's the freakin' point?"he asked her darkly from his pertch.

Both parents were taken back. Mr. Douglas slapped loudly on his knees the pointed an accusing finger at him,"Because that's what we want you to do and golly gosh you're going to do it, son!"he barked. Dexter looked at the floor and sneered. "Fine. Whatever."

"Good." Mr. Douglas said then walked out into the hallway while rubbing his lower back.

Mrs. Douglas made to follow her husband but paused in the doorway. "Is everything okay, Dexter..?"she asked feeling a pang of concerned.

Dexter gave a sarcastic laugh and slid off his desk. "Would you really care?"

Mrs. Douglas fell silent. She didn't know what to say. In all honesty she had always felt disappointed in Dexter for some reason she couldn't express. It always seemed to make everything that Dexter did,good or bad, appear trite, uninteresting, or plain annoying. All the same, she was aware of how she should feel twards her youngest child and she was remorseful of her lack of intrest. It wasn't as though she hated him, it was more an indifference she couldn't overcome. Right now, it was apathy and guilt that motivated her feelings of sudden concern. Looking at her little boy now, she could see and feel the rejection she had built up like a wall all his life finally being pushed back at her. There weren't any loving words that she could arbitrarily pander out to him now. He knew she wouldn't mean them. He was aware of the real relationship they had now. How long he'd known she wasn't sure. So she said the most honest and loving thing she could think of. "There's meat loaf and mashed potatoes in the fridge if you would like for me to make you plate and warm it up. If you're hungry."

Dexter stared at her from across his room in a gap that might as well have been the grandcanyon. He looked away. "No,mom...goodnight."

"Goodnight Dexter."she said more like an apology than a plesantry, then slipped out the doorway, then down the hall. As Mrs. Douglas opened her bedroom door she heard Dexter's bedroom door shut.

ooooo

"Well that was awkward."a voice said from behind Dexter's eyes.

"It doesn't matter."Dexter said dismissaly. He kicked off his shoes and flopped onto his bed in exhaustion.

"You sure are thinking about it hard, Dexxy."

"I said it doesn't matter,Freak." Dexter stated strongly. He rolled onto his back and stared unfocused at the ceiling. "It doesn't matter, because I'm almost dead anyway."

"What!?" Freakazoid shrieked from the back of Dexter's mind.

Dexter smiled. It was nice to have somebody care if he lived or died, even though Freakazoid had an intrest in the matter. "I'm giving my body over to you, Freakazoid."he said peacefully.

Freakazoid was speachless.

"I love being you, Freakazoid. I love the insane, crazy, fantastic things that we do. For me it's like I'm always dreaming. It's really wonderful, you know?" Dexter sighed with a feeling on contentment settling in his chest. He slipped his glasses off and gently tossed them indiscriminately into the darkness of his room. "I won't be needing those anymore."

"I um, can't say the idea of being in the drivers seat of the ol' Dextermobile all the time isn't a tempting offer,"Freakazoid said feeling uneasy," but...I mean...are you sure? About this?" Freakazoid really didn't have to ask. He could feel Dexter's resolve all around him, which worried him. "I mean..what do you mean by being dead?"

Dexter worked his cargo shorts off and dropped them on the floor. "There's no reason for me to even exist when you could take my place. What am I compared to you? Nothing, I'm nothing but another miserable nerd. But you.."Dexter breathed crawling under his sheets,"..you are amazing. You're strong, charming, handsome, and a hero. Everybody loves you."he said curling up on his side and closing his eyes. "I love you. It just makes sense."

Freakazoid chuckled nervously,"Dexter..sheesh. You're making me blush."

Dexter just gave an indiscriminate grunt.

"I don't know if this is right or not...but if it's what YOU really want, I'm going to have a hard time telling you no, Dex."Freakazoid said as his friend drifted into a dreamless sleep.

ooooo

In the dimness of the Freakazone Freakazoid was slumped over on the ricketey couch. He turned off the television. "Is this okay..?" He wondered aloud. "I mean...it's already like..I mean I'm the one..."Freak scratched his cheek.

"Man, I wish I could talk to Cosgrove. Being stuck in here stinks." He sighed,"I really do want this, but I think it might be wrong. A little. Maybe not. Yeah,probably. Well, maybe not..." Freakazoid groaned in frustration and sprawled out on the couch. "Nutbunnies."


	2. Chapter 2

Dexter woke up smiling. Today was the last day of the rest of his life.

He kicked off his blankets and hopped out of bed. He bowed his arms above his head,stretching his sore underused muscles.

"Today is going to be great!" He did a few more stretches then bounded off to the bathroom. Dexter locked the door and started the shower. "I should probably look my best today."he said stopping in front of the mirror.

"Bleh,I'm not going to miss this boring face." He pulled off his shirt and boxers and scrutinized himself. "Hm...ordinary and boring. No wonder Steff hates me." He put his hands on his hips then looked down and wondered,"Huh...does Freakazoid have one? I don't really remember anytime he's used it." He thought hard about it. "He eats all the time,but.."he thought aloud then grimaced,"he always leaves the dirty part to me."Dexter sighed then climbed into the shower. It felt wonderful. For once, he had beat his brother to the shower and got to indulge in the steaming cascade of liquid comfort. "Ahh.."he sighed,"this is nice."

He finished up his shower then trotted back to his bedroom to get dressed. He knew exactly what he wanted to wear. Dexter was whistling a happy tune when he came down the stairs in his black turtle neck, blue jeans, and white sneakers. "Good morning!"he said cheerfully to his mother and father who were drinking their morning coffee. They looked at him completely perplexed.

"Well, Good morning son!" Mr. Douglas said with a tip of his coffee cup."You're in a good mood today. Have anything to do with the pep-talk from last night does it?"

Dexter laughed,"Sure does, dad!" He picked up a bowl and spoon from the drying rack in the sink,then mossied over to the pantry."It was the most helpful conversation I've ever had,actually..."he said from in the pantry while pouring himself a bowl of cereal. He put the cereal back and hopped over to the fridge for some milk."Thanks for setting me straight."he gave his dad a wink then started eating his cereal still standing.

"Ahhhhrrrrggg!", Duncan screamed from upstairs. "Who used up all the hot water!?"

Dexter smiled broadly at his mother."Oops."

He finished his cereal then put his dishes in the sink behind his mother. "Goodbye, mom."he said then hesitated before giving her a peck on her cheek.

Mrs. Douglas stared at Dexter,speechless.

"Bye!"he said cheerfully then headed out the door,snatching up his school bag on the way out.

"Dexter,you dipwad!"Duncan yelled from the top of the stairs with a towel on his head and waist."I told you ya' weren't allowed to use the shower first! I'm going to kick your butt!"

Dexter stopped in the doorway. He'd been waiting for this. "I'm so sorry,Duncan. Why don't you go fuck yourself?"he said then slammed the door.

Dexter walked out to the curb where Cosgrove's cop car was waiting for him.

"Hey kid."Cosgrove said as Dexter trotted to the other side of the car.

"Hey Cosgrove!"Dexter replied and getting in the passenger side.

"I'm taking you to school,huh?" Cosgrove said in his deadpan way.

Dexter nodded,"Yep."

Cosgrove started the car."Alright then."he said and pulled away from the curb. "I hated school myself."

Dexter buckled up and looked at Cosgrove,"Really?"

"Yep."he replied turning on his siren and taking a left turn.

Dexter smirked. "Yeah,I hate school, too."he said gazing out the window.

"Hmm..doesn't seem you hate it today though. You got dressed up and everything." Cosgrove said as they passed some minivans.

"Yeah,you like it?" Dexter asked pulling on the throat of the turtle neck."It's an homage to Steve Jobs."

"Yeah, I can see that now. It suits you, kid."he replied driving through and intersection."You planning on doing something special today?"

"Yeah,it's my last day. I thought I'd leave a nice impression."Dex sighed and scratched the back of his head.

"Is that so?"Cosgrove asked suspiciously. He pulled up to the school and shut off his siren. "Well,don't over do it today, kid."

"Thanks."Dexter smiled at him and started to get out of the car,but stopped halfway,"Hey Cosgrove,it's kind of creepy how always show up when I need you."

"Hmm...really? I never noticed."he replied.

"Bye, Cosgrove."Dex said and exited the car.

"See you later,kid."he replied before Dexter shut the door.

Dexter waved as he watched Cosgrove drive off.

He liked Cosgrove. It was going to be great spending more time with him.

Today at school Dexter raised his hand to answer all the questions,he helped people in the halls if they dropped something or needed a hand,he smiled at all the girls he liked and even sat down with Steff at lunch.

"Hey Steff."he said in a chipper tone as he sat down beside her. The rest of the table gawked at him, including Steff.

"Umm..hi Douglas.."she said unsure."Why aren't you sitting with your own friends? I bet they miss you.."Steff said looking nervous and hoping he'd take the hint.

Dexter finished his salad and looked at her with a sideways grin. She didn't want him here, he got that but he also didn't care today. "Nah, if you didn't notice,"he took a drink of his bottled water,"I don't have any friends to eat with,other than you of course."he gestured to her in an almost apologetic manner.

"Uh, Dorkster Dumbass?", one of the bitchier cheerleaders said to him. "I think you got the wrong impression from our Steff here. She isn't nice to you because you're friends. She's nice to you because she pities you and your pathetic existence."

Dexter ate his last tater-tot and looked at Steff. She averted her eyes, obviosly humiliated to be near him."Yeah, I know. I still try to be friendly to her anyway."he smiled at Jen then drank the last of his water."I guess I will technically see you later,Jen." With that he left and moved on to gym class.

In gym class he dominated at doge ball with a little help from his blue buddy. Then finished out the day with a bang by challenging the entire football team to a fight on the field after school. Of course Dex didn't show up, but he and Freakazoid hacked the school's sprinkler system to soak the whole team when they did. He also pissed in the Gatorade cooler.

Dex laughed his ass off the whole way home until he saw his brother and three other footballers waiting for him. Duncan snatched up Dex by his shirt and slammed him against the side of the house.

"Hey bro, what's up?"Dexter asked smirking confidently, but was actually quite scared.

"You little wad! You know what you did! You've been asking for a beating all day!"Duncan yelled at him.

Dexter pushed his luck,"And you're going to give it to me, _blah, blah, blah.._"he said mocking his brother.

Duncan really did hit him this time, he didn't hold back. He punched him in the ribs twice then threw him on the porch. "See what you get dorkster? That'll teach you to show some respect!"Duncan yelled down at him. The other two guys came over and both got in a hard kick each before Duncan spit on Dexter and made them leave.

When they were gone,Dexter got up and went inside. He had expected something bad to happen, but it was still upsetting to have it happen all the same. He held his sides tenderly as he ascended the stairs to his room.

_"I'm gonna wrestle the literal crap out of him the next time I get my hands on him!"_Freakazoid seethed from the back of Dexter's mind.

Dex just gave a weak laugh. He eased down into his bed. Silently, he lay there listening to the quiet house trying to hold onto his dispassionate attitude. "Why does everybody hate me,Freak?"he asked aloud as his false bravado cracked. "I'm being serious ya know? Can you tell me, so I can at least know why all women I come in contact with, including my own mother,shun me like the plague,"Dexter asked looking at the ceiling with a hitch in his voice,"and why all guys, except Cosgrove an Roddy, just consider me a punching bag?" Even though he was smiling,tears began to distort his vision. "I'm so sick of being treated like I don't have the right to exist..."Dexter choked out, trying to hold back embarrassing sobs. He bit deeply into his lip. He took his glasses off and set them on his night stand.

From the Freakazone in the back of Dexter's mind Freakazoid was aghast. For the first time he felt an overwhelming sympathy and guilt for his host who had never showed this kind of raw emotion before. _"That...none of that is true,Dexy. Hey...don't cry._"he said in an attempt to soothe his friend but comforting words were something he wasn't good at.

Dexter took a shuddering breath,"Thanks for that...it's okay. You're my redeeming grace,Freakazoid."he said,his voice husky with tears.

_"Dex, I don't like this."_Freakazoid said remembering their conversation the previous night.

"Don't you want to be free?"Dexter asked feeling confused and a little rejected.

_"Yeah,but this feels really wrong to me Dexter."_Freak said from his place in the darkening freakzone. _"I don't want to loose you."_

"I..."Dexter was at a loss for words. He hadn't considered if Freakazoid would deny him his request,"..you won't. Ill still be here,like I always am when you're in control. Please. I'm so tired. I just want out of my life."

_"You see? That's what I'm talking about. I know you'll still be there but this just feels..."_,Freakazoid covered his face with his hands and rubbed his eye sockets with the heels of them as he searched his scattered mind for the right words,_"..it feels...,_"he slid his hands over his mouth as he found the right words, as if trying to keep from speaking them. He didn't want to admit it but it was the only truth he could say,_"..it feels like I'm helping you commit suicide."_

"Yeah."Dexter responded numbly,"I guess it is kinda like that."

_"Dexter, you're scaring me. I am seriously worried Dexy. And I am never serious about anything. Please Dexter.."_Freakazoid had no idea what he was pleading for, but it felt urgent. He knew he had to if he cared at all about his friend.

"Don't."Dexter said coldly.

_"What..?"_Freak asked innocently.

"Just stop. I don't need your pity."he hissed bitterly as he stared at the ceiling feeling all the suppressed emotional pain he had been hiding from himself. It was easy to let it flow free now that his survival instinct was gone. He turned over on his side and curled up. He pulled a pillow over his face in shame and screamed into it.

He screamed until the screams turned into sobs, and sobbed until sobs turned into shuddering and whimpers.

He just couldn't understand.

Suddenly, somebody moved the pillow away from his face. Dexter gave a small gasp of surprise and quickly turn his head into the bed to hide himself again.

_"It's okay."_a soft friendly voice said to him and gently stroked his flush cheek.

"Freak..?"he said as a spark of something he hadn't expected to feel pierced through his heart. He looked over his shoulder half expecting him to be there, but he wasn't. The spark faded like an violet in the mid-day sun.

And yet, the gentleness continued.

He looked to see Freakazoid had taken possession of his arms. The blue hands wiped away his tears then hugged him tenderly. Dexter closed his eyes. He could picture Freakazoid laying in bed with him, holding him in his protective embrace. Dexter didn't care how gay a bystander would call him for feeling the way he did at that moment. He wanted Freakazoid with him forever. He wanted to give the only person that ever _even remotely_ understood him every last bit of him until death did them part. He wanted to show his gratitude and love for his only friend in the only meaningful way he could.

"Take me. I'm giving myself to you..please. I want you to."Dexter pressed his cheek against a strong arm that held him."Take my body and make it yours. Let it be something of worth for once." He felt the arms hold him tighter. It was wonderful...then it was gone.

_"No."_Freakazoid said.

Dexter's heart broke."What..?"

_"I won't."_he said solemnly.

Something else rose up in the fissure through his heart, betrayal and rage."Why?!"he asked acidicly.

_"Because,I love you."_he responded in the distance of Dexter's mind.

Dexter sat up in bed then ran to the nearest mirror,"You're lying!"he screamed at his reflection.

_"Dexy,I'm not-"_Freakazoid said in a whisper.

"You! You hate me just like everybody else! The only difference is that you can't get away! Why can't you give me this one thing!? It's all I want! PLEASE!"he cried out in hysterics, the pain of Freakaziod's rejection too hard to bare.

_"I can't do this to you! I won't!"_ Freakazoid yelled back.

The rage and pain overtook him, Dexter pulled back and punched the mirror. It cracked. He cried out and punched his reflection again, and again, and again until his knuckles were shredded and the shattered mirror was only held together in fragments by his hot,sticky blood. He didn't feel the pain, only the heat of his self inflicted injury. He panted as the adrenaline rushed though his veins. _"I'll make you do it."_Dexter whispered darkly.

Freakazoid' s eyes widened in alarm. Dexter hadn't head him screaming at him to stop. He hadn't felt him desperately try to take over again to halt Dexter's madness only to be thrown back by Dexter's sheer will to harm himself. Freakazoid had never know a fear like this. A deep helplessness as he watched his host leave his home and head to some undisclosed destination. _"Where are you going? What are you going to do!?"_he shrieked in panic. He tried to take over but Dexter was overpowering him. He felt himself being pushed down twice as hard as he pushed back. _"D-Dex-!"_he groaned out while pinned to the floor by an almost crushing force in the freakzone.

"I'll make you."Dexter repeated like a mantra. He turned the corner and walked past Cosgrove parked out front of the school.

"Hey kid."he said as he saw Dexter walk past. His eyes widened to point where Dexter could have actually seen them if he had been looking."Whoa, hold on kid! Dexter!"he called after him as he struggled to unbuckle his seat belt hastily.

_"Cosgrove! Stop him!"_Freakazoid called out, hoping his words could somehow reach his old friend.

Dexter burst through the front doors to the school knocking over a football jock who was talking to some girls.

"Hey! Dorkster!"he raged then chased and grabbed Dexter by the shoulder,spinning him around. The dark haired jock balked and the girls gasped at the deranged furious glare Dexter had on his face. Without his glasses or his usual clothes on he barely looked like himself.

Dexter felt wrath twist knots and coil in the pit of his stomach at the sight of the bully. He snarled then punched the taller boy with his bloodied fist, knocking him down, then Dexter raged on and began punching him relentlessly as the girls screamed. He took out his fury on this one unfortunate jock until he had his fill.

When he stopped a crowd of students had formed. He glared at them, his eye searching wildly for anyone else who had wronged him. His eyes fell on Steff. He glared hard at her, his gaze intense with every ounce of disdain and pain he ever bore from her.

"D-D-Dexter..?"she stuttered as he approached her.

"So now you remember my name? You always seem to have amnesia whenever anybody is looking at us. Why is that,_ Steff_?"he asked with his voice low,poisonous, hissing.

No one stood by her, they all backed away leaving her to him.

_"STOP! NO DEXTER! DON'T!"_Freakazoid screamed from the back of his mind.

"Dexter...I didn't mean to-"she blathered looking like a terrified deer.

He backed her into a corner,"You didn't what?"he asked feeling like a burden had been lifted off his shoulders or a noose had been loosed from around his neck.

She began to cry beneath his glare, her guilt from how she had wronged him by leading him on, how she used him and neglected him steaming down her oh so pretty face.

She disgusted him. He hated her and he hit her. The slap resounded down the hall.

"You disgust me."he said to her then turned and went up the stairs just as Cosgrove came through the doors with Roddy in tow.

"Lad!"the scottish man called after him.

Dexter would not be stopped. Anyone who happened to come down the stairs that had ever given him any grief he sent them tumbling down as he ascended.

Cosgrove helped Steff up and called an ambulance for the kid by then door. Roddy hurried after the lad,dodging the pedestrians that he tossed down the stairs."Laddy! You have to calm down!"he cried out as he caught a young woman in mid-fall.

Dexter ignored everything except his rage and his ultimate goal. He kicked the doors to the rooftop open, setting off an alarm. He marched up to the very edge of the building. Four stories up. He could see and hear cop cars and an ambulance headed to the school, as well as what looked like a news van. He had an audience. He chuckled bitterly as his sadness returned. The coldness of it was almost soothing against the burn that hate had left in it's wake.

_"Don't do this, Dexy."_Freakazoid pleaded in exhaustion.

"I'm going to bury myself as far back in your mind as I can go. I never want to you to dig me up or bring me back again."he instructed Freakazoid aloud, unaware of any of the people listening behind him.

_"Dexter, let me out. Let me take over."_he pleaded, hoping beyond hope that he could someway save what was left of his friend.

"I'll give you control again, Freakazoid. It's all I wanted to begin with remember? But not until I make certain we are clear on one thing."he said in a tone of finality.

_"What is it..?"_Freakazoid asked sadly.

"I won't quit. If you bring me back, I will do this again. _And again. And again._ I will hurt myself and those around me. I _won't_ be selective next time either. _Anybody_ who gets in my way will be hurt."he promised then took another step onto the ledge. He could hear people yelling his name behind him but he ignored them all. "Never. Wake. Me. Up. EVER."he instructed then turned around to face those behind him. Steff, Cosgrove, Roddy, Duncan, and some teachers and students watched in horror as he spread his arms and jumped off backwards off the ledge.

_"DEXTER!"_Freakazoid screamed.

_"Take over if you don't want us to die._"he whispered as a smile crept across his lips. _"Goodnight."_he said as he surrendered himself to his other half.

Freakazoid seized control just before he hit the ground. His super speed allowed him to twist in the air and land on his feet in a split second.

Gasps resounded around him. They had all seen him change. He looked up and saw the television camera pointed at him.

A look of shock and horror twisted his usually jovial features. He stood stone still until tears filled his eyes.

_Freakazoid couldn't feel Dexter with him anymore. Nowhere._

He dropped to his knees and began to cry. _"He's gone..."_ he whispered as he wept into his hands.

* * *

FEELS.


End file.
